Staycationish

I heard a word a few months ago on MSN-staycation.  Definition:  You are broke so you go to a hotel in your city for the weekend and experience other parts of it that you don't ever frequent.  In our situation however (yes, we are broke, but that's beside the point), my sister Megan used to work for this fab company here in Phx and she got perks all. the. time.  It was excellente, but then the economy had to go and suck so she moved back to NM.  Reason #432 why it's sad she left.  Anywho, one of the things she got was a gift certificate for a weekend stay at the Sheraton in Phx.  She gave it to my parents but they couldn't use it before it expired so they sent it our way, which I always encourage :)  We didn't want to impose on anyone to take our kids for two days so we took them with us, and figured we'd hit up the Wildlife World Zoo which is 2 hours from our house so we'd never ever go otherwise.  Around 8:15pm on Friday night, Ben says "man, we should have done ultimate break nights.  I take the kids tonight and bring them here in the morning and then tomorrow night you take the kids home and bring them back Sunday morning"  *insert crickets and tumbleweeds pause here*  Ben you have got to be kidding me, I'm so mad at you for not thinking of that before we brought the kids all the way down here and already gave them a bath.  So we put the kids down for bed, me mumbling to myself the entire time and being in such physical pain because how NICE would that have been.  Now, let me explain the sleeping situation:
*The Sheraton is super nice.  The bed was so flippin comfortable, the pillows were fantastic, down comforter, wow.  Loved it. 
*Ben and I always sleep with a fan going for white noise.  So do our kids.  Not one night or nap goes by that a fan isn't going for white noise.  On the way to bed I head into the bathroom to turn on the exhaust fan for white noise.  Hmmm.  No exhaust fan.  Now, I know rich people are better than me, but I am fairly sure their poop stinks too.  Pretty dang sure.  Also, don't their showers get steamy too?  So why the absence of an exhaust fan?  Now here's me thinking we'll live for one night.... 
*Kyndal was so wired she wouldn't stop talking which means Devin starts laughing at her.
*Finally get her calmed down, get Devin asleep and climb into bed.  Oh. My. Gosh.  In the last 45 minutes between us putting the kids to bed and now, someone, somehow, has replaced those lovely white clean sheets and down comforter with paper bags.  The bed was so unbelievably loud, neither Ben or I could adjust our sleeping positions, let alone reach up to scratch a cheek, without sounding as though we are sliding around on and crushing paper bags.  So Dev, who needs complete quiet until he falls asleep and Kyndal, who needs it all the time, are awake.  Calm, but awake and moving around.  K and her plug are sounding like Maggie from the Simpsons sucking on her pacifier, and I started laughing uncontrollably because this situation is so ridiculous, and all I can picture is Maggie.  And all because of no exhaust fan!!!  We layed there like mummies not being able to move, basically miserable, until Dev busted out a huge cry around 10:30.  Picked him up, he let out a massive burp, and fell back asleep.  For two minutes.  Then cried again.  And again.  And again.  Maggie with her pacifier in the other corner are still going strong on the sucking, and miraculously not jumping up to see whats happening.  10:59 comes around and I'm up for the 47th time trying to calm Dev down and Ben jumps out of bed and yells "I surrender!!!"  Not really, but he did jump out of bed and say this is bananas, what are we still doing here with the kids.  So he took the kids home at 11 to go to bed.  All. because. of. no. exhaust. fan. 
*I was fully awake by then, so I enjoyed myself until 3am watching HGTV and then couldn't get comfortable because I need my lovely husband to snuggle up to.  So I fell asleep sometime when the sun was coming up, but waking up and showering and eating breakfast by myself in a far too nice restaurant without children was fantabulous.  And I highly recommend it to anyone should the opportunity ever arise!

We went to WWZoo with Kara & Allie on Saturday, which was really fun but will be another post.   You can read that one, and then read this one tomorrow when you're eyes have uncrossed from reading such a long post.

After getting dinner, I dropped Ben back off at the hotel and then drove an hour home with the kids.  Ben got the better ultimate break night (7pm-9am), but I'm not bitter.  Nope.  Not bitter.  We went back Sunday morning to check out and then went and watched Planet 51 which was pretty cute.  And then came home and all took naps, since I don't sleep at home without Ben either.  Plus I was scared so I left several lights on, which doesn't help anyone sleep either.  But it must be done.  The weekend after it was all said and done though, was really great, and we thorougly enjoyed our little staycationish.  I did learn a few things though:
*Again, to reiterate, I do not sleep without Ben in the bed with me.  Which is rough.
*There is a strange phenomenon in which once you become "rich", your poop doesn't stink and you don't need an exhaust fan.  I'd be really excited to get to the point of being "rich" and have it not stink, that would be great, wouldn't it?  I bet I'd pee liquid gold too!  Gosh.  I can just imagine.  What a great perk along side already having cash overflowing out of my pockets and into my Mercedes Benz.  Also, the steam from the shower must be sucked back up inside of them making their skin even more dewy and fresh, which I REALLY could handle.  It'd be like getting a facial every time you shower. 
*Poop smelling like roses aside, I'm not sure me and being rich would work out so well.  Valet people and others serving the rich at the hotel make me nervous.  I don't like how they can't look you in the eye and have to say "yes'm" after everything you say.  Plus I never know how much to tip.  Rich people must have a secret union in which they demand all public servants (you know, the maid, valet, concierge, the waitress in the uber nice restaurant) smile at your ear (remember, no eye contact) and make themselves overly humble merely to please you.   Bring me the head of a pig...and a goblet of something cool and refreshing... amuse me.  Honestly, do these people have no dignity?  If I were to step up higher onto my soap box, I would scoff at the rich people and wonder how on earth they are ok with actual human beings serving them like that.  I thought that trend went out with the 1890's. 
Whenever I encountered anyone that worked at the hotel I wanted to speed walk past them yelling "I can do it myself!" repeatedly so I didn't have to feel so nervous. 
All this business aside, we really did have an excellent time.  Once in a lifetime experience for sure!  The bed once the kids were gone was probably the nicest one ever and if it wouldn't have cost me $105, I would have stolen the pillow.  I did make sure to take the shampoo and conditioner though, I ain't passin' that up!