5 years...

5 years ago today, Ben's father passed away at the age of 75.  Without going into too much detail, it was relatively sudden and unexpected.  From the time Ben & I knew he was sick to the 13th of Sept, was about 8 weeks.  We'd only been married 2 years, and this was a rough thing to go through so new to "real life".  For me, Jerry was the first person that I've ever been close to that passed away.  Even though I hadn't known him for nearly as long as many other people had, I dearly dearly loved him.  I love his kindness and his generosity.  I love how much he loved his wife, children and grandchildren.  I always enjoyed, and now treasure, the times when Ben tells me stories of all he's done with his Dad.  His Dad taught him the value of hard work, and that is one of my top 3 favorite qualities Ben possesses.  I'll forever be grateful for the truly wonderful example Jerry was (and still is) for Ben. 

Among the many sad and difficult things Ben and I saw and dealt with during that time, one of my most frequent thoughts was how sad I was that we hadn't had any children yet for him to know and love on.  A year and a half later, when we had Kyndal, I realized that was not something I should mourn.  One of our most treasured moments in that hospital room as first time parents, was seeing how Kyndals mouth turns down at the corners, just like Jerry's did.  When she was sleeping, her bottom lip stuck out, just like Jerry's did.  This, I feel strongly, was a gift to us from Jerry.  Sometimes, over the past 3 1/2 years, I've gotten sad again.  How Kyndal would have loved Grandpa Wiltbank!  They would've gotten along perfectly, they are two peas in a pod.  Jerry liked making people laugh, and Kyndal lives for it.  Kyndal loves to talk talk talk, and Jerry was known for talking people's ears off.  I wish that Kyndal and Devin could feel his love here on Earth, so badly.    But then, I'm reminded that they DID know him.  And if I'm lacking in other areas, I know of a surety that he spent time with them in heaven before they were born.  I know that he watched over them there, and still watches over them on Earth.  I know that he and Kyndal were the very best of friends.  I know that seeing Ben as a father, and seeing Ben with a son of his own, makes him very proud.  I have a testimony of eternal life, because of Jerry.  Because I feel his love when I cry, and when I hurt for Ben for losing his father. 

Jerry had a strong testimony too, and a couple of weeks before he died, we got to hear it.  It was very short, but very powerful.  I'm grateful for the example Jerry was to me the short time I got to know him.  I'm grateful for the love he had for his family that still lives on today.  I'm grateful I know he loves Ben, he loves me, and he adores my children on Earth as he definitely did in Heaven.